Friday, January 1, 2010

I'm going to postpone the 'New Year' for a few days



The day slipped through my fingers. Not that I tried to hold on.

In the beginning there was need for recovery. Can we just call today a buffer between then and now? old and new. I wish I had committed more wholeheartedly to the newness of this year. I didn't even dwell in the novelty of nostalgia or reflection. I'm doing that awful and dangerous thing I tend to do. I shut down, shut off, shut out. I cease to deal. I become completely focused on the present. What do I need now to be comfortable, what can I do now to not deal with tomorrow. All the the more dangerous because I'm completely aware of the fact that I push the nastiness to the back of my mind. Not until it blows up in my face will it ever move to the forefront. It's like being fully conscious of your own self-destruction, yet doing absolutely nothing about it.
Nothing unusual about that.

Why is it that in English you wish people a HAPPY new year, and in Spanish you wish people a PROSPEROUS new year?

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